It really does. Deaths. Births. Ups. Downs. Something that had a deep effect on you. Something that you’re indifferent to. Something that changed your life. It doesn’t matter what it is, it will be history tomorrow. We waste hours pondering over our past or our future and forget to do the most important thing-live in the moment. There’s a poster in my math teacher’s class that says “there is nothing more important than what you’re doing right now” and I read that poster everyday to remind myself, screw the past & the future and think about now. It’s working for me. My grades have gone up since I decided to pay my full attention to what I am doing at that particular moment, regardless of how pointless I think it is. I am so proud of myself, and yes I just did say that. My grades are exactly what I want them to be, well except for Physics but at least I have the satisfaction that I’m working my a** off in Physics, so I know I’m giving it my 100%-maybe I didn’t get the gene for Physics from my father but it makes me happy that I tried my best. It just wasn’t good enough, and that’s okay with me. I’ve stopped looking down at myself for getting bad grades because it’s not worth it. Why should I let a number dictate my happiness or my sadness? Why should I let a letter represent my mood of the day? Ten years from now no one will remember what grade they got, but they will remember that they spent their high school in depression b/c of bad grades. I don’t want to be one of them.
Last night I was getting creeped out about the fact that next year is my senior year, which means I start university in the fall of next year. It’s a scary thought, because high school is a safe zone for me; I know that no matter what I still have university to make up for it. But university is well…university, one step closer to real life. Anyways, I was thinking about how much I despise high school and the people around but then I started to ponder over what high school did give me. It gave me the most beautiful friendships one could ever imagine, I mean regardless of how irrational people are at my school I know that I have friends I can turn to when I need a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold on to. And I know that these friendships are going to last my lifetime, even if time or distance do come in between, I know that whenever I meet up with these people it wouldn’t take us a minute to break the ice that time and distance has created. And honestly, these friendships are SO much better than some number in form of a grade that supposedly determines your intelligence.
I’ve always considered myself unlucky, but now that I think about it I might be the luckiest girl in the world. My problems concern whether I am going to get an A on a test, not how I’m going to prevent myself and my family from starving to death or whether I am going to live another day because of an illness. I have so many beautiful people to rely on when I need a break from life. They’re there to listen to me and even if they don’t care, I know that I am not alone.
High school has taught me so much about life in general. It has taught me that talent is a beautiful thing but if talent doesn’t work hard, hard work can defeat talent (okay I totally copied that off our basketball team’s shirts but it still holds true). It has taught me to be patient with ignorance and irrationality and also that not everyone is going to share the same view as I do. It has taught me that there will always be people who value materialistic things over people and relationships-and that they’re never going to learn.
So yeah right now I despise it, but high school hasn’t completely been a waste of my time…
