and you call yourself a teacher?

Me: so I think I am going to be a teacher, there are way too many illiterate geniuses out there who deserve to be taught

Friend: wtf why on earth would you want to be a teacher? that’s so…like no one cares about teachers & you barely get paid compared to doctors or lawyers & you’re not given any respect.

Me: …..

although what she said REALLY infuriated me, she is right. No one thinks of teaching as a profession that requires talent, people take it for granted. Like “oh well if I suck at everything, I can always be a teacher”. NO YOU CAN’T!! Teaching requires talent. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you can teach. Teaching is an art, it’s being able to adjust your mental capability well. You have to deal with people who absolutely suck at that particular thing and go down to their level and help them rise. And you have to justify/answer the people who are really sharp and will come up with maybe college level questions at junior high/high school level. You have to create an equilibrium in your class. But most importantly you have to educate. A concept neglected by teachers. Oh this test is an easy 100, wtf are you teaching then? We are forced to play the GPA game BY the teachers. Very few teachers actually try. Very few teachers actually care about their students and whether they understand something or not.

“Oh this will be on the AP test you need to know this”

have you ever heard an AP teacher say

“you need to know this because it’s a genius idea or perspective or whatever”

you blame our generation for being too competitive, well who inclined us that way? You may not realize this but a teacher has a lot of influence on a persons character. Gambling for grades is basically like saying we should do whatever we can to get money & power in life[grades in class]. So ‘teachers’ are basically ‘teaching’ us to be corrupt in order to prevent corruption. Oh yes, that’s definitely going to work. We definitely have a bright future ahead. Thanks a lot ‘teachers’ we owe it all to you.

Grading!

“Did you grade our tests yet?” I think I decipher my class fellows saying the phrase at least ten times a day; followed by an animadversion or appraise. “What did you get?” “Aha! I got a higher grade than you” and so on. A few days ago, while taking notes in my Government AP class I zoned out into a maelstrom of thoughts regarding the origin and system of “grades”.

My curious mind summarily led me to Wikipedia, aka the devious little machine serving as an incendiary to a teacher’s abhorrence towards a student’s ease, where I came across some interesting articles regarding the whole system of ‘grading’. Although it began in China to distinguish and pick out the best of the people for running bureaucracy, I still hunted for some more information and therefore began to think about the “why’ of the situation. Why are we graded? Why is it that a certain number determines our mental capacity and where we will end up? Why are we to dedicate huge number of hours to something that we are not even sure will help in ‘life’? And to figure out the why, I surveyed some people including the brains of our class and some successful people, or so as the world perceives them.

I accost certain ‘intelligent’ people who thought grades determine the level of our intelligence and claimed I have a myopic brain since I thought otherwise. “Well yeah, if you get an F on your math test, which by the way everyone got an A on, you are dumb! How can you not understand math?” My friend stated in an overt and pejorative tone. This is like expecting a fish to climb a tree as well as a monkey and humiliating it if not accomplished. If we are living on this vision, we might as well expect the whole world to believe in one thing and regard anything otherwise as sacrilege.

This brackish mentality was disproven when I asked the similar question from some successful people who are content and halcyon with their life and found that their success is not a talisman or because of getting 100’s in all their classes, but because they were greedy for knowledge. They found the positive in negative prospects. They created something out of every bit of knowledge they learned, something useful. Although their goals undulated at times, they never stopped dreaming and sought suppliantly for knowledge, even from their juniors.

My trail of thoughts also led me to the whole concept of standardized testing. Fine, I admit, I was studying for the ever so dreaded SAT test and so my conclusion is probably prejudiced because I absolutely loathe opening that preparation book but my point of view is that the whole concept of “standardized testing” is just wrong. From gambit of our educational lives we are taught to be original, to be different, to create ourselves, to find ourselves and so our mind starts functioning like that. But as soon as we reach high school a race begins. Who’s better than whom? Who has higher grades? Who has a better GPA? Who got a 2300 on their SAT? Who is going to an Ivy League? We are tested, not on our originality, but a generalized and common assumption.

For example, you give a piece of paper and a pen to two people; one uses the ink to create a beautiful story on the very paper while the other makes a paper plane and uses the pencil to enhance it’s celerity. By the whole system of grading you are saying that the person who created that paper plane is stupid because he wasted paper by not writing something on it, your definition of intelligence. But I see this situation as difference of perspectives. Our brains are different. We define things differently. We view things differently. Then why is it that we are compared and ‘graded’ based on what your mind thinks should be correct?

This may seem like a histrionic rant of a desperate student avid for straight A’s, or maybe of a human being yearning for some change in the propriety of our system; but then again your brain is different than mine and you have every right to your thought.

9/11

Today is a sad day. The tragedy of what happened 9 years ago still haunts our minds. The cries of the loved ones are still decipherable. I was 7 when 9/11 happened, so I had no idea [naturally] of what was going on. But I can say that loss of innocent lives because of another supposedly human being is the worst tragedy of all. When your kind kills you, that is what hurts the most. Losing your loved ones is never easy but imagine you get a phone call from your newly married husband telling you he is alive, for now, but the building is collapsing and he won’t be able to come home that night. Imagine a single mom calling her 5 year old to say goodbye forever. I can’t even imagine the magnitude of that pain. And when a tragedy happens all you can do is pray for the victimized and try to find a ray of hope in that darkness. It was a very sad day indeed, and not just for the people affected but for everyone around the globe. It changed our lives, all of us have been targeted. Although we can’t feel the immensity of your pain, our hearts still ache. We all still wish we could erase that day somehow. So here’s a sixteen year old Muslim-Pakistani girl praying for the people who were affected by this tragedy. I hope your strength and courage to bear the loss never fades and that your loved ones rest in peace. Amen.

Where is your heart?

Eid Mubarak!! This is a day of joy, but alas there is nothing to be joyous about. There are 20 million effected by floods in Pakistan. No Eid for them. No new Clothes. No new jewelery. No Eidi. No Mehndi. The horror right? No. This is worse, they have nothing to eat. No shelter. No clothes. No family. And the worst of all, no hope. While we sit here and pig out on our moms yummy Sawaiyan(vermicelli), Dahi Baray, Chaat and what not…they are fighting death. People our ages, people younger than us. Can you not hear their cries? Can you not see that they need you? Are you really that blind? You are putting religious differences before humanity? You are accusing the whole nation for what some lunatics did? You are punishing that 5 year old by letting him starve just because some crazy-headed, I can’t even call them humans hence, animals did? Are we really that backward in our thoughts? For the love of humanity, help those people out. I didn’t make new clothes this time for Eid because I wanted to spend that money on someone in need. I am not trying to sound noble, because I am not, but I can say that if you think getting that new Coach purse or that new PS3 game is better than providing a meal to someone then yes I do think that my thoughts are better than yours. So it’s my humble request, please donate. You might be able to put food on someones plate, their definition of Eid. There are so many organizations doing beyond amazing work, trust them for once and be a little largesse.

Look, Where?, There, But I don't see it.

How come no-one told me

All throughout history

The loneliest people

Were the ones who always spoke the truth

The ones who made a difference

By withstanding the indifference

I guess it's up to me now

Should I take that risk or just smile?

Misread-Kings of Convenience

I think at times, one should go with the flow. Like if something is happening certain way, I guess it was meant to be so why not just let it be? But then, if you let things be the way they are, the next generation is looking for a HORRIBLE future. If no one stands up against the wrong and let things go smoothly, let wrong be done without any hindrance then there is NO TOMORROW. It's like THE END. Like this verse by Faiz Ahmed Faiz says

"Jigar dareeda hun chak-e-jigar ki bat suno, umeed-e-sahar ki bat suno"

Translation: I’m torn inside; hark what my tormented entrails tell, hark to the hope of dawn

Our generation is THE perfect example of "Ignorance is a bliss". We have closed our eyes from seeing the truth. We believe that by turning our back to the reality, we will defeat it. We will triumph by giving up, which is a paradox itself. How can you even think of not trying and winning? How can you possibly even THINK about changing the world when you're not ready to budge yourself from your lazy ways? It's like saying "I'm guna loose the marathon tomorrow" when you haven't ran in 7 years. And all anyone could say to you is "wow". Our generation is like that, relying on what we are FED and refusing to actually RESEARCH. Tomorrow if some 'educated person' proves that 2+2=5 using fantasy scientific words, chances are we WILL believe him. And that is exactly the problem. Believeing anything blindly and refusing to open your eyes.

So my advice and request from the 'youth' is TO WAKE UP !!!

I Dream and I Achieve

I have been blogging a lot lately :/ It's true a person goes crazy near exams, well AP's in my case but this is going to be a very optimistic post.

So a few minutes ago, I was NONPLUSSED( a vocab word I quizzed over today :P) and I asked for some 'older' advice and SHABAM I got an answer. You know of all the things experience teaches us, one thing it lacks is the ability to 'trust' someone else's words. Cause experience teaches you to make your own mistakes, well sometimes you gotta listen and let someone else do part of the thinking for you. Cause maybe they know a perspective you never even thought of in your wildest dreams, but when they actually tell you about it, it's like "duh..that makes perfect sense". I think experience makes us extremely judgmental. We start judging people for tiniest things and I think that's why most relations fail. I mean even if you're best friends with them, you still have no right to judge them for their actions because you might have NO IDEA what they might be going through. That's why I believe we should put ourselves in their shoes before actually stereotyping them.

So till a couple of years back I used to believe in reality. I used to think that there is no truth beyond reality and the faster we snap out of fantasy world, the better for us. But these past 2 years made me realize how wrong I was. I mean I was missing out on a whole new world called dreams. I had visions of bringing a change and doing something big when I was asleep but did I really dream? Not exactly, in fact, the circumstances made be stop believing in myself and I started saying phrases like "pshtt...like that's ever guna happen, I can never do something big". I was wrong. Extremely wrong, in fact I can't believed I missed out on this for such a long time. But somethings happened that made me realize that even though I might not be as amazing at everything I do, I still can and will bring a change. I will make a difference, cause I know I can do that. I believe in myself not because I am conceited but because there are two people who worked hard for me. There are two people who KNEW I could do it and so they planned for it. There are two people who backed me up always, even when I KNEW I was hopeless, screw the world. There are two people who stood up for me, against all the odds and you know what? They deserve it. So yes I am guna put my best efforts forward and do it for them. They never got rewarded for their hard-work but I am guna give this little token to them. So yes, I am dreaming, and dreaming huge, I am working, and working hard and Yes InshAllah I will bring a change, and a huge change cause they deserve it.

Keep Dreaming and Keep Achieving and Keep Living

Cause without dreams, you're not exactly living. (:

I Dream of a World

I dream of a world without War

Peace, Happiness, Freedom and Rights

Where Red represents Life

Terrorism, a concept unknown

Where the only T word is Toys

I dream of a world without Murder

Danger, Dying, Tears and Loss

Where these words are extinct

Compassion, a concept virtually known

Where the only L word is Love

I dream of a world without Greed

Envy, Hatred, Anathema and Gloom

Where these feelings fail

Green, the color of Peace

Where the only F word is Frienship

Change...Really?

So today after TAKS (this pointless test Texas forces us to take -_-) instead of going to sleep I actually sat there thinking about what I had tweeted about yday which was do people really change? and my best explanation was people don't really change, they just discover a new side and they let that side overshadow their personality so people start assuming they have changed. I mean it's just not possible that something you have been for quite sometime, you can entirely change that. Like no matter what happens in your life you cannot completely take a 180 degree turn and start believing something opposite, can your opinions change? of course they can but its sort of like a deviation not a change. Our personality is sort of like Javert's perspective from Les Mis but not completely. Like his theory is that a person is either black or white, theres no shade of gray in their personality. He's born with what/who he is, well I don't exactly agree with him but where I do agree is that again you can't entirely change, its just somewhere in you that you hadn't discovered till now. What I don't understand is why people think its annoying and go all dramatic about it. I mean if someone is happy with who he/she is why the heck do you care? What is more important? A friends happiness or your satisfaction of a characteristic in their personality? I do understand you might miss that sometimes, but going all "OMG WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY OLD FRIEND" I mean just chill and go with the flow. Let things be the way they are meant to be at times. Not like your going against the nature is guna make any difference. My dad always says "its your world, but its not all about you" and hes right. You can't just want-expect everything around you to be the way YOU want it to be, sometimes you HAVE to compromise and give in.

Another thing, sorta related to changes. Why do girls act differently around guys..just to seek attention? thats just PATHETIC !! You know what they will think of you? A SLUT !! Yepp extremely pathetic. OH also if you think acting dumb in front of guys makes you look cute? think again cause it DOES NOT !!! It just really annoys me.

Step by Step

Walking down the aisle, with dreams in her eyes
And a nervous smile, her parents by her side
Wearing clothes a girl could only dream of
A glimpse of her soul, and a thought to herself
How can someone be so happy? Maybe it's a dream
For that special day, a girl waits all her life
That one special person by her side
She makes the vows worth her life
Closes a chapter, and starts afresh
A new life, new people and new ties
All of a sudden her world is flipped
From being the "daddy's lil girl"
To being his sweetheart
From being a princess of their house
To the queen of her palace
And from being the favorite sister
To a sister-in-law
Step by step she makes a journey
Leaving her whole life behind
And starting something very fragile
Hopes, dreams, excitement and love
She carries with her to fulfill her half
He reaches for her arm and fills the other
Promising to be her companion
Moving with her step by step.


P.S I know this is EXTREMELY clichéd BUT sometimes life gives you some lemons that aren't that sour at all !! :D

P.SS This is for someone very special hehe :)

Don't Stop Believingggg !!

"Stop dreaming, it's not reality" They Say
Well Dreaming is Living, fool
"But dreaming lets you fly like a free bird"
Then why would you cage yourself
"To prevent myself from falling"
Then you might as well stop breathing
"But thats like giving up"
You can't give up something you never tried
"But dreams equal disappointment"
Dreams give you hope
"False hope, and then you shatter"
You need to build something before it shatters
"But why put forth the effort?"
But why live at all if you're going to die?