Twenty-Five Thoughts at Twenty-Five

1. Listicles are cliched and so 2012 but I like numbers so I get a pass. 
2. Life is a balancing act. It also becomes the hardest balancing act if you sway too far from what centers you.
3. All actions and inactions should be the strongest when you are centered. That is how they gain strength and that is where you drive your strength from. In kickboxing, a form of fight that relies on kicks and punches, you draw your strength from your core. Not from your arms or legs, which are merely the vessels of your strength, but from the core which helps you last a fight. This concept humbles me a lot. That I need to focus on the root and not the plant itself. If the roots are strong, the plant will endure. If the roots are weak, the prettiest flower will wilt. Strengthen your core. (Ab workouts still suck.)
4. It is nice to have a routine where you go to bed at 11 and wake up at 7. But you cannot rely on that routine to center you. The moment you think you have a routine down, life will throw a curve ball at you and you will be left un-centered. These are the moments, your reaction to them, that define you. Not that nice little routine you created but how you deal with being thrown off from that routine. Constant readjustment is a skill worth learning. 
5. People are not black or white. Good people do malicious things because they were having weak moments. Bad people do good things because they were having stronger moments. At the end of the day, we are all people who have some unlearning to do. 
6. Someone said this and I agree, the years are short but the days are long. 
7. I am becoming more adept at analyzing how my life will be in 2 weeks, 2 months, etc. based on the actions I'm taking today. It's very interesting. 
8. I was driving down I-45 at 2 am from a friends place in pouring Houston rain listening to the A Star Is Born soundtrack, tired from working a day that started at 5:30 am and had not yet ended at 2 am still: I worked from 7:45 am to 6:20 pm without a lunch break, went to a work Happy Hour, went to a friends party, and logged in to work in between partying, and then logged back in to work at 2 am once I got home to work until 4 am - working nearly a 24 hour day. When I was in college, I wanted to be the person who could balance a social life and work like this. It hit me while driving down I-45 that I have become that person. At twenty-five, I am what I hoped I would be. At twenty-five, I also have a new definition of what I want to be when I am thirty. 
9. Hindsight is 20-20 but hindsight also romanticizes. It is important to reflect and correct without getting lost in the idealism of a past. 
10. An analyst I was training mentioned that I can jump from one priority to another really well. She said she wouldn't be able to switch gears as fast. This made me realize two things, one, this was a quality I admired in my seniors when I had started my job, and two, there is a lot you can train yourself to do over time. This means, if you don't have a family to take care of and are young, the most important thing you can do is create a skill set that you can utilize in any situation. My kickboxing instructor often mentions, no fight is created equal. I like that a lot. That there is no right way to be a human and that you must succeed with what you have.  
11. Whenever I find the analysts on my team stuck on a problem, I advise them to take a step back and start from the basics. Go back to the lessons you learned in your first month of the job and rethink the logic from the beginning. To some, it might seem like rework but to me, it is regaining that center you have lost by nested logic. I am finding that real life situations work similarly. It is easy to feel frustrated and restless when you are unsure on what you want out of life. It is important to take a step back and rethink the entire situation before delving into what makes it complicated. Whenever you build complex logic, you start with one line of simple code and then you add to it. You start with simple so your foundation is strong. It prevents rework further down the line. 
12. When your life is hectic and on a go-go-go mode, it is imperative to take time out for yourself. You need to clear out your schedule for a little bit and do something for yourself. This could simply be sitting at home and doing nothing or it could be partying or simply working out. When your priorities take up a lot of your time, you have to do things that remind you of yourself and prevent the days from running into each other.
13. I am learning how to invest money in things that make me a better person. It is okay to be cheap and stringy for things that don't matter but if something matters to you, you would rarely find yourself losing sleep over investing in quality. It is still a foreign concept. 
14. My favorite drinking is the comfy drinking when you're at home in your PJs and just hanging out with people you love, or by yourself. I love being around people and need the social aspect of things but I also need to be on my own and recharge. If I do too much of either, I feel off kilter. It's unsettling.
15. Sylvia Plath says, we grow...it hurts at first.
16. I am learning the importance of rest days and giving your body a break. You need to take a pause for your sanity. You will crumble, else. 
17. There is an art in letting go and having faith in people to get the task done. It makes your life easier and it gives them an opportunity to grow. 
18. I am learning forgiveness - of self and of bygones. 
19. Human relationships are intricate. Fortunately, they are stronger than a circumstance. As with all else, its repetition that makes a difference. If you keep repeating an unbecoming behavior, that is what causes them to break. It's an oddly comforting thought. 
20. The impact a person has on your life is often discovered by their absence. It is challenging to figure out, in the moment, how exactly you change around them. 
21. There is a lot of injustice in this world that can drive you insane. If you let yourself be mad about everything, you will lose your inner peace. And yet, we cannot give in to apathy. As simplistic as it sounds, it's not fair. Then the balance of caring without it taking over your being becomes a priority.  
22. I used to think, as does any teenager, that I would have my life figured out by twenty-five. That, of course, is wishful thinking as I do not think you ever get to a point of satisfaction. But, I think, that is okay. It is okay to always demand better of yourself. That is how one grows. 
23. The older I get, the better I get at asking questions. I think it drives from a sense of self-worth. I know I have the intellectual backing in me to ask stupid questions. It's refreshing, not holding self to a standard because of pride. 
24. The biggest lesson you can learn is not letting perfectionism get in the way of progress. Too often, we don't attempt things because they wont be perfect on the first attempt. It is silly to not do anything because it wont be perfect the first time around.
25. At twenty-five, I feel the weight of my own expectations on me. But I also am doing okay. I work out regularly. I read good books. I eat healthy. I am doing okay. As Jane Austen says, I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.