Desi Parents (:

Yesterday, after a long tiresome day of school, I dared to mention my effete situation to my dad. What followed was not sympathetic looks or comforting words but a vignette of how my dad used to walk miles, barefooted, in scorching heat while carrying ten textbooks, to school. It was inspiring the first time I ever heard it and the second and maybe the third, and was an adjunct reminder of how blessed I was, but hearing the same story a million times kind of loses its appeal. This, however, did make me think about how interesting the Desi families are. But let me define who Desi’s are first for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term. Desi’s are basically people from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh.

Anyways, the Desi communities have this hierarchy where if you’re a doctor, engineer or a lawyer, you are the cream of the crowd. But any other profession and you are added to the list of poltroons who are never mentioned at family gatherings. Obviously there are those not-so hidebound parents who allow their children to pursue a degree in Liberal Arts with a second degree in Medicine, Law or Engineering but even then they would only consider latter one to be a fait accompli. Speaking of which, most of the conversations between Desi parents involve two things: bragging about whose child is better than whose or arguments concerning politics of motherland. Let me tell you a little something about the Desi definition of good grades. If you ever get a 99 on a Math or a Science test, do not expect to be applauded. In fact, you would be asked about where you lost that one point and why you didn’t get the bonus question right. Soon you would also find yourself in a morass of another ribald story about how your parents took Calculus in 6^th grade and got better grades than you and how you’re doomed for the rest of your life. Not getting perfect grades in English is acceptable though because for most of us it’s not our first language, making it a very reasonable excuse for not scoring well. In fact, you would constantly hear your parents complain about why our native language isn’t counted towards the required Foreign Language credit.

Now let’s get to their other favorite topic-politics. They would sit down for hours in a supine position, sipping five cups of tea in one go (which by the way is definitely not an addiction and is completely normal in a Desi household), to caterwaul about which political party is the least corrupt of them all. They talk about it as if they might secretly be bellwethers of that party working to gather some proselytes, but that’s all they’ll ever do. If you suggest doing something to better the political system of motherland, well they’d either look at you as if you’re deceived by a mirage or would be merciful enough to say that you’re oblivious about how the world works and would label you as a silly novice.

I forgot to mention one other topic Desi people can’t resist talking about. Cricket. If there’s ever a Cricket match on, it’s a liturgy to throw a party and watch it with every other Desi person in the ten mile radius. It’s definitely more anticipated than the Super bowl or the NBA finals and to skip it for work or school is considered sacrilege. This just might be the only thing that quasi religious holiday, where skipping school is okay.

What’s also interesting is that Desi people would never buy something that’s not on sale. But if it’s on sale, we would probably buy a hundred of those items, even if we have no need for it. In some chimerical way, it’s all a part of saving some money. In fact, I think the only time Desi people ever truly spend money is on weddings or education. Even when it comes down to going to the doctor’s, they would do their best to procrastinate it as much as they can. They firmly believe that Advil or Grandma’s old remedies are the solution to every illness out there. And if those fail, well then, what’s the internet for?

In the end, I just want to say that this was nothing more than an attempt at a raillery and was not intended to be noisome. I am a Desi person after all and am kind of proud of my heritage.